I have accomplished many great things in my life. I have……hm……give me a second….
I have performed in shows. I have been told I have the best white girl crip walk in my suburban middle class hometown. I have been given prestigious titles such as “Class Clown” and “Night Surfing Champion of The World and Most of The Universe” (that one may be self-proclaimed).
And teachers assumed I would never amount to anything……Suck it.
But none of these “achievements” are as glorious as the goal I am aiming to achieve now. Ok, I may be overplaying this a bit. Let’s get to it.
I want to spend a day in a forest baking cookies with Ginnifer Goodwin and a group of well behaved magical elves.
I know what you’re thinking. Trust me, I do. And I thought the same thing for awhile; how could I possibly find enough activities in the forest to span over the entire day!? Let me share…
First Ginny and I (we’re good chums now at this point so I can call her Ginny) will meet up at the forest’s edge with the elves. We’ll begin our day at the crack of 11:35 am. I will name each elf based on their appearance and demeanor then we will be on our merry way. After a fun walk skip through the woods we will come across a field where Ginny and I decide to have a frolic. The elves will set up our baking station in the trees while Ginny and I pick daises and prance about the field singing whimsical songs about fairy tales which we will make up on the spot.
Next, once the elves have assembled our baking station we will begin! We’ll bake all sorts of glorious cookies in fantasy blumpkin shapes. (I’m unsure what ‘fantasy blumpkin shapes’ are, but I really like them and am determined to figure it out) Once they’re done the fairies and nymphs come out of the trees to dance in the wind because they see Ginny and of course want to be a part of this magical day.
All of this singing, cooking and eating will obviously tire us. So we will all take happy naps in the field. I’ll most likely spoon with the elf I inevitably name Lord Snugglekins.
After our naps it will be time for pictures! Ginny and I will take pictures with bunnies and chipmunks and squirrels who all comply of course because of Ginny’s magical powers over all that is cute in the world. We will take a good mix of posing with the animals and also some action shots. If you’re wondering why I want the variations it’s because we need a good mix for the photo album…don’t be silly. Eventually, the elves will join but they will not…I repeat will not…make this about them.
And alas, when the day is done we will walk skip back through the forest to civilization. The fairies and nymphs will fly back to the forest after accompanying us on our journey back. The elves will disperse and go back to their elf families and elf homes which I envision to be a combination of miniature Santa workshops and Smurf mushroom houses. And I’ll tell Lord Snugglekins I enjoyed our time together but we should just stay friends.
Then it will be time for Ginny and I to part ways. We’ll make plans to tag each other in all the pictures and look into booking a recording studio for our fairy tale improv songs. I’ll gush over what a great actress she is and what a fan I am and thank her for spending the day with me. She’ll ask for my number and email to keep in touch but then giggle because she knows she can just send a hummingbird or a forest fairy with a message. Then we live happily ever after knowing we have lived a perfect day amongst magical elves, forest fairies, pretty daisies and fantasy blumkpin cookies.