Hope Solo-itis

I am not a doctor, I have never studied medicine, I paid my Asian friend Suong to do my homework for me in high school. You may say this means I am not qualified to diagnose someone with a serious disease. But I beg to differ. I see Hope Solo-itis spreading everywhere. And there is no pattern to figure it out…the very young, the very old, men, women, the young athlete, the elderly obese, even the deaf / blind / mutes who cannot hear, see or speak of her are coming down with this illness. It’s an epidemic and it is taking over our country. It’s even spreading to other countries. I intend to get to the bottom of it right now.

Some have been afflicted with this disease for years. We have come to learn they are called “Holos”. They have been dealing with this sickness almost in the shadows. No one had done any research on it and they were forced to try and hide it at times. When they would show their true colors and share they were a Holo, people would sometimes shun them and tell them there is no place for that in our country. It seemed in the late 90’s there was a similar illness called Hamm-itis. But once that died down there was a period where the public’s interest faded in learning more about these diseases. Until this Hope Solo character came along that is. And then all hell broke loose.

The Solo-itis epidemic saw a spike in 2007. At the Women’s World Cup in China there was a severe upward trend in Holos appearing everywhere. They were growing larger in numbers and stronger. When people would trash talk their illness and the Solo name; those there were fightin’ words. The Holos would not put up with any of it. If you mess with the Solo: you have to answer to the Holos.

But nothing could prepare us for what we saw this past summer of 2011. The Women’s World Cup in Germany created a world-wide frenzy. It didn’t matter who you were or where you came from, it was spreading like wild fire. I advised close friends and family to stay in their homes and avoid direct contact with people, but it was too late. Everyone was affected. The world has been taken over, and it has been taken over by the one and only Hope Solo.

Now, I have a confession. This may shock you, but it is important you all know this…

I am in fact…..a Holo.

I was infected in early 2007 and have been living with the disease ever since. I understand the allure of it. Once you see Hope Solo play, you are forever a Holo and there is no cure and there is no going back. I think every other Holo can agree though…we don’t want a cure.

I am severely affected by it, but I have found two other people who are so far into the stages of this disease that I am surprised they are able to function still in every day society. They go by the Twitter names of @HopeSoloSwag and @HopeOnTheSolo. I suggest everyone who is living with this follow them immediately so they are able to get guidance and information. You can visit their website at www.hopesolofans.wordpress.com for more information on this rapidly spreading sickness.

Hope Solo, if you are reading this: I thank you for being a true hero and a true athletic phenomenon. You have touched many people, and I for one am proud to call myself a Holo and embrace my Hope Solo-itis.

Published by

Amy Maestri

Writer / actress / producer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *